


In My Heart, In This Cold Heart, I Can Live Or I Can Die

by HunterByDayWhovianByNight



Series: Because It's You and Me, and (No Other) People [3]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Enthusiastic Consent, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Stuttering, Unsafe Sex, Weekends Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 14:11:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight
Summary: “I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?“ - Jess C. ScottThey needed each other- more than they both cared to admit.





	In My Heart, In This Cold Heart, I Can Live Or I Can Die

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all why did Jaeden have to comment "#findenn" on Finn's Instagram post today of all days? I died. This fic ages Bill and Richie up a little bit so that it's not too weird. Enjoy this story that I couldn't get out of my head. Title is from "Cold Little Heart" by Michael Kiwanuka.
> 
> ~Hunter

“Y…y…you sh…sh…should come uh…uh…over tonight,” is how the night starts. As soon as his parents leave, Bill calls Richie and asks him- no, _tells_ him- to come over that night and stay over. Bill has been thinking about the next time he and Richie would be together; he misses being able to kiss him without the fear of getting caught by an unsuspecting parent or friend.

“I'll be there,” Richie says, eager to see Bill and to have a night alone where they can just be together.

While he waits for Richie to come over, Bill can't help but smile to himself as he thinks about the other boy. It's been two years since their night in Bill's bed and since then, they've been on the down low, making out and stroking each other off when they can get a few hours alone. Nobody's suspected them yet. Not even Eddie, who almost saw them kissing at a sleepover a few months ago.

When Richie arrives at Bill’s house, he parks his bike carefully on the lawn and walks up to the porch. He catches Bill looking out his window and waves up at him. Through the glass, Bill smiles and waves back before scampering away. Moments later, Bill is opening the door and Richie is being pulled in by an excited and giddy Bill. The door shuts behind him and Richie stands on his toes to kiss Bill. All these years, and Bill is still two inches taller than him.

“Hey, Bill,” Richie says when they pull away.

“H…h…hey, R…Richie,” Bill says, pushing Richie's hair out of his eyes and tugging on Richie's sweater. “C…come up t…t…to my r…room.”

“You usually ask me how I’m doing first,” Richie jokes. “Moving quick tonight, aren’t we?” He bites his lower lip and it makes Bill roll his eyes.

“Y…y…you don’t m…m…mind,” Bill says sarcastically. Richie lets Bill pull his arm up the stairs and into Bill’s bedroom. Richie kicks off his shoes and lays on the bed. He's joined moments later by Bill, who continues to assault him with kisses.

“What's gotten into you?” Richie asks in amusement between kisses. “You're never this enthusiastic.”

“J…j…just excited t…to sssee you, i…i…is all,” Bill replies. Richie calls bullshit right away; Bill wants something.

“Is there something more you want?” Richie asks, slipping his hand up the back of Bill’s ratty old baseball tee, the one he loves. “Something you wanna say?” He adds, rolling his hips up slow.

Bill groans at the contact. “I…I…I really want u…u…us to get closer,” Bill says, fear in his voice and eyes. Hopefully Richie will respond enthusiastically. He's been thinking about them _together_ a lot more in recent months, and there hasn't been a right time for Bill to make an advance or bring it up.

Richie looks up at Bill in shock, surprised that Bill wants to try taking them a step further. He feels a flutter in his stomach and he's pulled back to their first night together two years ago in this bed.

“I want that, too,” Richie replies, and his heart works overtime when Bill smiles in relief and kisses him again, this time with a smile stuck on his face as they kiss. Their lips move against one another at a slow, steady pace before Richie opens his mouth and lets Bill work his tongue into his mouth. When their tongues brush, both boys sigh and Bill pulls Richie tighter. He tugs them so that they're side by side on the bed and so that they can press up against each other. Richie can feel Bill's hardening dick against his own.

“Let me get that,” Richie says, popping open the button on Bill's jeans and shoving them down. He sticks a hand into Bill’s boxers and squeezes his hard dick, making Bill moan. Richie smiles to himself as he strokes up Bill's dick, feeling it harden in his hand. He can hear Bill moan and hear his breath catch in his throat, and the noises send a rush of arousal through Bill's body. Bill's dick leaks precome onto Richie's hand and it makes the strokes smoother. Bill moans against Richie's mouth as he feels ripples of pleasure emanating through his legs and stomach from his groin, and the coil that's been tightening since he called Richie is pulling tighter and tighter.

To say Richie was turning Bill on right now was an understatement. His thick glasses hung low on his nose, his pupils were blown wide, and his pink lips were _begging_ to be kissed. Richie was working diligently, moving his hand at a quick and steady pace. Richie always got like this when he got to touch Bill; focused, swift, and relentless. He always made Bill orgasm and fall apart with unending bliss, either with his hand or his mouth. Bill would never say it out loud, but he loved it when Richie took him in his hand or in his mouth and worked him slowly, drawing out every last second.

(Richie would never openly admit that he loved the feeling of Bill, hard and hot and _big_ inside of his mouth.)

“Sssstop, stop,” Bill says, gripping Richie's wrist. He felt himself getting dangerously close to coming, and he knew that he probably wouldn't be able to continue if he already came tonight. He whimpers when Richie removes his hand, but he knows that what will unfold soon enough will be worth the wait.

“Sorry, just…” Richie huffs. “Just got ahead of myself. Like making you feel and look like this.”

Bill smiles in appreciation, taking deep breaths to steady himself and reign in his arousal and excitement. He kisses Richie again, and feels the other boy melt into the mattress and pillows beneath them. Bill pulls up the hem of Richie's shirt and slips it off, and Richie does the same to Bill. They stop for a moment, bare-chested, and just look into each other's eyes. Bill adjusts Richie's glasses so that they rest high on his nose. The warm skin of the other is comforting. It's in that moment when both boys realize what they're about to do, the utter _magnitude_ of what they're about to do. They're not afraid, no. They can't be afraid after what happened two summers ago. They're suspended in anticipation, waiting for the other to make a move so that they don't have to. As rain begins to patter outside on the street, it's the only thing the boys can hear besides the beating of their hearts and the heaviness of their breaths.

“D…d…do you want to,” Bill gulps, “b…be in me?” He looks to the other boy for a response. The side that wants Richie to say yes and the side that wants Richie to say no are in conflict with each other, and Bill doesn't know which one he wants to come true.

Richie ponders the question for a moment. Bill asks the question like he's concerned about Richie being on top, or maybe that's just his stutter convoluting his tone. Maybe Bill really does want Richie in him, and he's asking enthusiastically. All Richie knows is that in _his_ head all along, it's been Bill on top. Especially recently. Bill has grown so much and isn’t as meek as he was the summer they were thirteen. He stands up for himself. He's strong. He's a leader. It's evident in his fading stutter and his lightly toned chest. Bill makes Richie _weak_ when they're alone.

“Do you want me to be?” Richie asks with a cock of his brow. He waits, nervous and heart thumping in anticipation.

“Sh... sure,” Bill nods, feeling a sense of relief go through him at the thought of not having to be in charge. He does, though, notice that Richie’s bright eyes dim when he says that. Maybe Richie _did_ want to be on bottom. Bill lets Richie maneuver him onto his back and feels a thrill when Richie tugs down his boxers. They both vaguely know what happens next; some stretching to fit, aided by lotion or Vaseline. It'll sting, Bill knows, but he knows in his gut that he wants this, wants to be close to Richie.

For a moment, Richie feels overwhelmed. He roots through the bedside drawer to find a little bottle of lotion that he _knows_ Bill uses to masturbate with. He puts some on his fingers and rubs them together; he looks down at Bill below him, waiting, with his legs spread and his fingers gripping the bedsheets. Bill, too, feels overwhelmed and he shifts on the bed in slight discomfort. He suddenly feels very vulnerable in this position, and when he feels Richie brush his fingertips against his hole, he freezes.

“Do you still want to-”

“Stop! Stop, stop, R…Richie,” Bill cuts Richie off, heart pounding and breath heaving. The rain, too, is pounding on the street outside, almost as loud as Bill's heart. He sits up and is eye-to-eye with Richie. Richie's pulled his hand away sharply, and they both look at one another in disbelief. 

“Are you alright? We can stop if you want,” Richie assures Bill, making sure that Bill feels comfortable.

“I…I…I want to be on top,” Bill says, trying to hold his ground and not stutter as much as he tries to communicate how he feels. The two boys stare at each other in the dimming light and the rain falls heavy outside.

“Thank god I didn't have to say it,” Richie smiles, breaking the tension. Bill scowls; Richie always knew how to kill a perfectly good moment. Richie wipes his fingers off on his jeans and looks back at Bill, into his big, blue eyes. He's so in love.

“W…well? We still d…doing this?” Bill asks as he switches positions with Richie and presses Richie's back to the sheets. He unbuttons Richie's jeans and pulls down the zip, feeling him hard below his hand. Richie nods earnestly, and Bill bites his lower lip in excitement as he pulls down Richie's jeans and briefs in a single go. Richie helps him push them down, and they get flung across the room. Bill leans down and kisses Richie fervently as he wraps a sure, tight hand around Richie's dick and strokes.

When Bill presses a slick finger against Richie's hole a moment later, Richie moans and he knows that _this_ is what he wanted. He lets out a shaky breath as Bill teases him, applying pressure for a few seconds before taking his hand away.

“I…is this o…okay?” Bill asks as he slips his pointer finger in to the first knuckle. Richie is startled and he gasps, grasping at the bedsheets. Richie makes a vague noise of consent and braces himself as Bill tries to work in the rest of his finger and begins to pump it in and out.

“Is th…th…this o…okay?” Bill asks again, trying to gauge if Richie is still feeling alright and doesn't want to stop. Richie nods in approval and tries not to _scream_ because Bill's finger in him feels so strange and so good and so wonderful all at the same time. He pushes up his glasses with the back of his hand and grips the pillow beneath his head as Bill teases a second finger against him.

“Y…you want a…a…another?” Bill asks, noticing the positive reaction from Richie. Richie nods more, eyes screwed up shut as Bill presses in another finger and rubs them up against Richie’s walls as he works them in and out. Richie groans; he never thought that this would feel as good as it does right now. Bill scissors his fingers and Richie bucks his hips up into nothing, gasping for air as Bill touches a sensitive part in him.

“What was that?” Richie asks, trying to hold back and not come at that moment.

“I…I…I don't kn…know,” Bill says, removing his fingers from Richie, seeing the other boy whine at the loss. He looks down at Richie intently, sees the other boy's abdomen quiver in excitement, sees him push his glasses up from his flushed cheeks. _Did I really almost make Richie come with just my fingers?_ Bill thinks to himself as he wipes his fingers on the sheets. Richie smiles and huffs; his mind’s absolutely blown and he feels fuzzy.

“Can we keep going?” Richie asks, biting his lower lip and batting his eyes at Bill. He had to keep his hand against the bed and not wrap it around his dick to give himself even just a bit of relief. He doesn't want to come yet.

“Y…you sure?” Bill asks, shifting closer to Richie. His dick brushes Richie's inner thigh and they both shudder. Bill scraped his fingernails against Richie's thighs and sides; goosebumps sprout across the other boy’s skin. The tightening of his skin makes Richie's dick get harder, but just slightly.

“God, _fuck,_ yeah,” Richie says, spreading his legs wider for Bill's body to fit. Bill steals his gaze away from Richie and takes the lotion from the bed near Richie's hip. With shaking hands, Bill squeezed out the lotion onto his fingers and slowly wraps his hand around his dick. Bill lets out a shaky breath; he's so sensitive, so close. He wants so badly to be inside of Richie, but he's so nervous. He doesn't want to hurt Richie or push him too far, but Richie _wants_ this.

Bill holds himself up on his elbows, hovering over Richie. Their warm, bare chests are touching. Their hearts are pounding against each other. Their eyes are locked on one another's. Their hot breath mingles together. Bill's hair is brushing Richie's face. Richie's cock is hard against Bill's stomach. The rain is loud on the sidewalk outside the house. Biting his lip, Bill guides his dick to Richie's hole and presses the head against him. Bill rests his forehead against Richie's and holds there as Richie cants his hips up and squirms beneath him. Richie feels like he's teetering on the edge of a cliff; he wishes that Bill would just _take over_ and thrust into him, hard and fast.

“Go on,” Richie pleads, fisting the sheets in his fingers. He folds his legs up and curls his toes in anticipation as Bill slowly and painstakingly slides into him; the pair pant as Bill enters Richie and Bill eventually bottoms out. He's silent; all the noise in the room is slight breaths, gasps, huffs. Bill groans at the sheer tightness of Richie's walls around his dick and prays that Richie doesn't squeeze around him right now. Richie's eyelids flutter shut as he adjusts to Bill, hard and warm and thick, inside of him. It's a strange feeling, Richie thinks to himself, as Bill's dick fills him, but he finds that he could get used to it. Richie pushes up his glasses once more as he waits for Bill to move. Bill slowly pulls out and rocks his hips back against Richie's. Richie moans aloud, furrowing his brow and rocking his hips up to get more, more.

“Is th…th…this a…alright?” Bill asks, gripping the pillow beneath Richie's head to keep himself from tipping over the edge as he keeps up his slow and steady pace. He slowly and gently rolls his hips, trying not to hurt Richie.

“Please, Bill,” Richie huffs in annoyance. He's dying right now. All he wants is to really feel Bill, and Bill keeps on stopping and asking if he's alright. It's a sweet and caring gesture, but Richie can't help but say, “Just _stop_ worrying about me for once and just **_fuck me.”_ **

In a moment of reckless abandon, Bill holds fast to Richie's hip and shoulder and flips them so that Richie is on top, straddling him.

“That good enough for you?” Bill asks confidently. He grips Richie's hips tightly and looks up at him proudly. Richie pants, surprised at how forceful and _dominant_ Bill was right now. He never realized before how much Bill turned him on when he was confident and didn't stutter, when he knew what he wanted to say and didn't let anything get in the way of it.

“Uh-huh,” Richie says, still unable to form words after the shock he just received. Bill looks up at him with coy eyes as he begins to thrust up into him slowly, surely. _This_ is what Richie wanted. At this angle, Bill is able to reach him deeper and Richie can control how fast he wants to go. Richie places his hands on Bill's chest to steady himself as he meets Bill’s thrusts with slow, downward rolls. Periodically, he squeezes around Bill, just to make the other boy moan, just to be a tease. When Bill's jaw drops and he moans or sighs, Richie automatically feels a wave of satisfaction go through his veins.

Then, out of left field, Bill sits up, making Richie gasp and shudder in surprise. Bill holds the back of Richie's head and his hips as he continues to rock into Richie and increase his pace. Richie wraps his arms around Bill's shoulders, trying to hold on as Bill thrusts harder, faster, _needier._ They're both so close, in both senses of the word, as their breaths mingle and their foreheads rest against each other and their climaxes get closer as the rain falls harder and louder.

“‘m c…close,” Bill says breathlessly, his hips becoming erratic and his breaths catching in his throat. He pulls on Richie's hair tightly and haphazardly presses a kiss onto Richie's lips.

“Me too,” Richie replies, his lips smashed and his voice muffled by Bill's lips kissing him. Richie wraps a hand around his own dick, stroking himself until he finally comes, breathless and high and shuddering against Bill's slight frame. His come covers his and Bill's stomachs entirely. Every part of him is burning with pleasure and excitement; he feels like he's vibrating all over and he pants heavily, trying to get air to his burning lungs.

Bill thrusts a few more times into Richie and comes with a shout, gripping Richie's waist and his chest heaving. Richie moans when he feels Bill come inside him, all warm and filling; it feels so good, so intimate. Bill has Richie pressed up so close to him and they're still connected as they return to the ground and to each other. Bill presses a kiss to Richie's shoulder before pressing one to his lips. With a mournful sigh, Richie lifts off of Bill and lays on the bed. He can feel Bill's come slowly trickle out of him and onto his thighs. Richie feels like bliss as he lets out one last shaky breath and the rain begins to let up some.

“S…s…so? H…how was it?” Bill asks as he lowers himself onto the bedsheets. His eyes meet Richie's and Richie gets this special glint in his eyes that lets Bill know that even if he cracked a joke, what just happened meant _a lot_ to him.

“Didn't think you had it in you, Bill,” Richie confesses as he adjusts his fogged-up glasses. He leans in for another kiss. “I can't wait to see what other tricks you've got up your sleeve.”

Bill looks at him confidently, raising an eyebrow and giving Richie a sly grin. “W…well we do have a…all weekend.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah please comment/kudos I need it to give me satisfaction 
> 
> ~Hunter


End file.
